Conditional And Unconditional Love

First things first…. it is my opinion that one of the main goals of writing and literature (other than entertainment) is too find pathways to the human heart.

Today’s area of inquiry and discussion…. to take a look at the arena of conditional and unconditional love and its potential effect on human beings culture and Society…

A true story: When I was about 10 or 11 years old, my two younger brothers and a sister and I went with my parents to our father’s parents house…(out of our two sets the grandparents we liked least was my fathers….

During our uncomfortable visit we were all sitting around on the floor and out of the blue my father up and says…” I’ll tell everyone who the loser of the family is,” he said as he points directly at me…. as you can imagine I was in shock because I was a decent student and a really good athlete…. and I couldn’t figure out why my father would say this about me especially in front of friends and family…. at that moment it fell upon me like a cloud, that my father’s love was conditional, and that he had more than likely been taught this by his parents…. as I went on with life and my dad, I realized conditions would be imposed upon me.

For comparison’s sake let’s look at two little stories one with a conditional response another one with an unconditional response….

A teenage boy comes home after a night of partying with his friends….. he has been in an accident, but the car is drivable and he dreads going home and telling his father about it… here’s how it went…. as they stand looking at the car…” Look what you’ve done, you’ve wrecked our only vehicle…. wait till your mother hears about this, not to mention how much the insurance is going to go up…. what will the neighbors think?…. I want you to go up to your room, I don’t want to see your face or talk to you anymore tonight.”…. this is obviously the conditional love response… now let’s look at the unconditional love response…

A teenage boy comes home after a night of partying with his friends, he has had an accident, the car is drivable but he does not look forward to telling his father about it… here’s how it went as they stand looking at the car….” Son are you okay?…. are you sure you’re not hurt?…..well the car looks pretty bad, but it is drivable, we can take it down to Joe’s Garage and have him work on it… don’t worry our insurance will cover it, and I’m sure Joe will do a good job and give us a good rate…. you must be exhausted and upset so please go up to your room and have a good night’s rest, and we’ll talk more in the morning…. I love you… please wake me if you have any pain or problems….

So what can we say about this?…. what we say and how we say it has ramifications and major effects on the people we are speaking to, especially children that are in their formative years… these children are going to take into society and culture what they’ve learned…. most or a lot of it coming directly from their parents… I think we’ll talk about this more later… if you are on Twitter visit me…@FrankPayton13…if not… check out……later Frank

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s