The End…

In my final dream… I began to write, but found my pen had no ink…. then as the dream moved on, I found I had been fatally wounded on the stage of life… spiritually and physically dying… my essence, my life force, my spirit left my physical body, and I was slow motion drifting in outer space.

As I was in this slow motion drift I realized that in my lifetime I was not able to overcome myself… reflecting back, during my life, I remember never really liking or loving myself… I remember a zeal, a burning desire to help the human race which I loved, but viewed it in whole as pathetic, because we were unable to rise above our depravity… thinking of my own spiritual situation with God… I was unable to accept that I was in right standing with Him… yet having an awareness that this whole instability could be a deception from Satan ( as I was familiar with Satan’s methods having been in near constant spiritual conflict with satanic forces during my whole life)… this awareness of the potential for being deceived by Satan (and that perhaps I wasn’t LOST) left me my last glimmers of hope in my dream…. my final feelings involved the possibility that God had accepted me ( though I was unable to receive it) as I had rejected and disqualified myself as being unworthy to accept the full measure of God’s provisions… as my dream ended I died, and my last thoughts were how I hated my failed life / & myself….Frank Payton…

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