A Sad State Of Affairs…

A sad state of affairs, a sad state of existence…After living 65 years of what would be considered a normal life ( referring to my life) and considering the amount of success and failure that I have experienced… The balance of happiness and sadness that I have experienced… The amount of satisfaction that has come from a relationship with or without God, that I have experienced…. The satisfaction, be it from ‘actual’ or ‘perceived’ truth..leads me to think that the average person believes ‘truth’ is almost impossible to prove, and cannot be ‘universal’ because of differing perceptions & beliefs / or belief systems… as in reality human beings are living in what they perceive to be their… “own truths”….Having said this…. I believe it to be true… that a great percentage of human beings do not believe there is ONE ‘standard of truth’…like is the tradition of Judeo Christianity… Most are comfortable with many ways and many avenues of salvation… and in many opportunities to find peace with what they perceive God to be…. and are not necessarily concerned with Who God says that He is… Me thinks that man has made the fatal mistake of determining from ‘his own point of view’ and by his limited reasoning and observation skills..’what he needs and wants God to be’…. So having aired that laundry out… Back to my main point… It is a miserable, wretched state of affairs & existence that I find myself in currently… Having lived over half of my adult life as a so called ‘Christian’… And having had many manifestations and what would be called spiritual incidents… now find myself disqualifying my self… Because of having lived what I believe to be a horribly failed life.. And yes I am aware that I actually have no righteousness to offer God… ‘in and of myself’ and that I should get back to my position IN CHRIST… But I KNOW, because of an overwhelming spiritual attack… I actually consider “nothingness” to be a viable option… almost a desirable option…as Shakespeare so accurately put it…”not to be”… And I must tell you… it is a horribly painful state to be in… mentally horrible & deadful & painful… I guess the only thing is to continue my struggle with the demons of my life….littleraventhepoet.blog…………..Frank Payton…

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