Just what all, is in the heart of man? I have carefully examined what is in mine… And quite possibly, ‘it’ is in yours also...or a version of it…

Just what I have found in my heart and my life might surprise you, or you might find it to be incredibly familiar… You have probably rarely talked about it outwardly… But have lived with it inwardly, to one degree & to one extreme or another… We all are different, and we all have different levels of awareness, as to what is actually going on within us… Some of us care and some of us couldn’t care less… We tend to just live our sometimes mundane lives everyday, trying not to swing too far either way….that is concerning the deeper insights, the deep water, concerning the stuff of life…like… Why are we alive? Who is the giver and sustainer of life?… Is physical death the end or just the beginning?… Could this one true God be more powerful and wonderdul, beyond our wildest dreams and imaginations? We subconsciously try to find our way to the middle ground which is our comfort zone… usually…. yet, many of us are against the grain and are unusual… This unusualness pretty much describes me… However I must say, I don’t remember choosing my lot in life… But I guess both consciously and subconsciously we make decisions that drive us to a certain point… what we call our reality.. Mine is unusual, relatively speaking, comparing it to what I’ve experienced in other people… ‘Most’ other people that is… There have been two or three along the way, that I would consider very similar and what we might call ‘Soulmates’… They seem to come… only to go… Giving and taking… adding and subtracting to our lives…

So having given you the background noise of my life.. I would like to say this…. And if you think about it, what I am going to say, it’s not really that profound, but it is truthful, which may make it seem profound…. Because truthfulness seems to be a rare and odd commodity in the world we live in today… I have deep ideas about this subject but will save them for another day…

Here we go… I have found dual natures inside of me… These two natures are competing against one another, within my very life… One is the ‘spirit of life’, since becoming what is commonly called a ‘born again’ Christian… The other is the ‘spirit of death’ which was my ‘only nature’ prior to becoming ‘born again’… So all of you who may be searching and thinking that the Christian life is a walk in the park, are in for a rude awakening ( should you answer the call )…. The devil doesn’t care about us when we are spiritually dead, it’s only we learn what the truth is and become spiritually alive, that he is concerned about us, and really begins to attack us… Once we know the truth we become dangerous to him… I could tell you stories of being brought close to death in my sleep by strangulation, by an entity laying down across my body and holding me down, to where I couldn’t move or talk, but I’ll save that for another day also.. I will say this, the only thing that saved me from what appeared to be certain death, was my screaming out the name of Jesus, which broke the stranglehold… And I lived to see another day…so excuse my digression….finally…. I have found that being a Christian, I have totally been renewed and changed, but yet am still aware of my being capable of doing horrible things, should I succumb to my other nature… and I think that is true for all of us… The struggle is incredible sometimes… The devil attacks in ways that are indescribable… Even after being a Christian I still know What I am capable of…. Doing some of the most noble things that a human being could do, or if pushed, committing the most heinous acts… so, I think this is the “Heart Of Man” …. At least the heart of this man……Sincerely, Frank Payton…

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