FUN WITH FARTS

FARTING: Some view it only as a necessary bodily function. Some see farting as having at least two important functions; bodily function necessity and just plain old fun.

Let’s look at the fun part … One interesting thing that my grandma used to always say about farting was; that there was “More room out than in”. Grandma was smart with this statement, It’s very economical and just plain simple truth.

Also, another plain simple truth is that once a fart is loose there’s little you can do to control it … Yes you might be lucky enough to have a fan around and you can just blow it away, but what are the chances of having a fan? … As one can easily see it’s very easy to find yourself in an embarrassing predicament. For instance, one could find themselves at an important event and have the whole thing blow up in their face due to an ill-timed fart, that could quite possibly ruin one’s future … And not only that, one would have to live the rest of one’s life explaining to people why one is living in the streets … Also, trouble might be avoided at the birth pangs and the onset of a monstrous fart; if one has a plastic bag they could pull down their pants and tape it to their bunghole, hopefully in time to contain the gaseous explosion from one’s rear end … But a person would be hard-pressed to accomplish this.

I remember a funny story a friend once told me about him and his girlfriend. He said that she had a lot of trouble with gas and that if she cut loose with one often it would be like being “crop dusted”. The problem often arose from her over-eating collard greens and cornbread and washing the whole “recipe for disaster” down with buttermilk. He said, often if she felt a fart coming on and they were in the car, they would pull over, get out of the car and both just start running for their lives … Remember try to think of others and keep your farting to yourself, if it all possible.

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