FRIENDLY FARTING

AS I LOOK BACK over the years, some interesting and quite funny memories come to mind. All the family get togethers, including friends could be very revealing.

There were so many topics of discussion, (usually politics and scams) also things like God and the devil, good and evil, many spoke of human nature remaining virtually the same over the centuries, especially in comparing it to technological advances.

To me, it is truly amazing how familiarity with one’s friends and family can bring different forms of “comfortable contempt”. Often, subject matter could range from verbal squabbles to heated debates. One that I ( and many acquaintances have mentioned in private conversations) experienced on many occasions, was how comfortable most people can become in social situations, especially around food, in displaying their expertise and pride in the art of farting. The funniest memories were when men and women would exchange their deep philosophies, then punctuate the last words of ther genius drivel with a healthy audible fart. I can remember some of these farts being seven or eight seconds in length. To me, that’s an unusually long length of time for a fart to be expelled from a human rear end. Now if we were talking about buffaloes and beasts, I would fully understand. I remember walking around inside on certain hot summer days when the air conditioning wasn’t working and all we had for fresh air were open windows. One could walk around, and different pockets of air would waft up to your nose and you could all but tell what somebody had been eating, such as broccoli and cheese. On many memorable occasions, involving women in their lightweight summer dresses ; I remember seeing noticeable puffs of air escaping from some of the more heavy-set women of the congregation. Now I don’t mean to stereotype because some skinny women can really blow a fart also.

I remember one occasion when an extremely loud fart was expelled from a fat neighbor, sleeping in the grass with his dog. Upon hearing the fart, the dog jumped straight up, two feet in the air from a dead sleep. The fat man turned purple from embarrassment. And of course, the story was retold countless times by adults and children at all future get-togethers. What’s a little bit peculiar is that nobody seemed to tire of the story, ever.

Did you fart?

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