ABOUT DICK

This is not a true story.

Many years ago, I had a girlfriend whose brother’s name was Dick. As you will soon learn, her “Dick” brought about a very uncomfortable situation.

One day, my girlfriend asked me if I wanted to meet her brother Dick. Upon her putting this request to me in this manner, I quickly replied to her “I would love to meet your Dick, Whoops, I mean, I would love to learn about your Dick, Oops, I mean I would love to chat with your Dick.”… You can see my predicament.

Upon finally meeting my girls Dick, us three decided we would continue our get-together at a local street vendor’s hot dog stand. Oddly enough, the vendor’s hot dog stand had a cute sign identifying the hot dog stand as “Dick’s dogs, home of the biggest, best weinner in town.”… I couldn’t believe all this was happening. After we received our order, we slowly walked away, munching on Dick the vendor’s fat juicy wieners. After a minute or so, I said to my girls Dick, “Would you mind terribly if I called you Richard, instead of Dick?” My girlfriend quickly interrupted and said, “Look, he’s my Dick, and he will always be Dick to me. So please stick with Dick. I said OK. … Story by Cleetus A. Mungdingus...