I HEARD A FRANTIC, drunken voice behind me, revealing an old friend shouting, “Hey Frank, I got something for ya” … It was my neighbor George. George had recently retired, and I think was finding it hard to adjust, after 40 some years of service at a local high school. He couldn’t figure out what to do with his time … So there we were, standing at the pavilion in downtown Front Royal Virginia, on a crisp October cloudless day …
As George staggered, he made it to within five feet of me, holding a nearly empty bottle of gin in his hand … He was stinking up the place big time … George then leaned up against the brick wall of a local seafood restaurant … He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of chicken salad … I mean there was no baggie, there was no container, there was no nothing, just a handful of chicken salad … He then reached into his left pocket and retrieved the crumbs of a croissant … ( I was wondering why three cats were following him) … George then proceeded to pull a tube of mayonnaise out of his back pocket … The top was missing, and I think there were tire marks on it … I guess that’s why it appeared to be flat and empty … Realizing his plans to give me a chicken salad sandwich were a disaster … George started wailing and screaming, I told him to be quiet, as there was a cop just across the street sitting in his patrol car … When George started yelling, the cop got out of his car and approached us … He said, “What’s going on here today guys.” I said, “George and I were just talking”, The officer then looked at George and realized what a mess he was. The officer grabbed him by the arm and said “you gotta come over to my squad car”. George reluctantly accompanied him. I said, “Hey officer, If you haven’t had lunch yet, ask George about his chicken salad sandwich.”… Feeling quite proud of my smart-ass comment, I went merrily on my way … Poor George …
Frankie The Earthman 