MY LEAST FAVORITE WAYS TO DIE

Being hit by a fast-moving tractor-trailer truck. Being violently stabbed to death. Being shot by a sniper. Dying a slow painful miserable death from a terminal disease such as cancer. Any form of suicide. Free falling (like in a dream), for a seemingly never-ending period, anticipating hitting the ground. Having my throat slit and slowly dying. Having my tongue cut out. Having my eyeballs gouged out. Being castrated while conscious. Having my penis cut off. Sitting naked with my balls exposed, bound to a chair that has the bottom cut out, while a rope with a heavy brass wrecking softball-size weight hanging from the ceiling, was strategically swung at my balls over and over again. There’s more, but I guess these will do. Frankie The Earthman.

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