BOOGER PICKIN’ ETIQUETTE

If anyone has suffered from a bloody nose or just been out for a walk on a cold winter day, congestion is likely to occur. What a person will find is that after they have come in from the cold and warmed up a bit; shortly thereafter there will be the formation and the social gathering of boogers in one’s nose. There is no getting around it.

One will also find especially after a bloody nose, dried crystalline glass-like formations that can be rather painful to extract. I would also like to mention “as I’m sure”, everyone has experienced the hiding, rebellious, elusive booger. If you have not, count yourself lucky. What typically happens, at least in my experience, when you initially start to pick certain boogers, you can feel them immediately, and as you continue to capture a particular booger, all hell breaks loose and it seems to vanish into thin air, sometimes never to be found. Poof! it’s gone just like that. The legendary Forrest Gump tells a story about how his mama used to spend “hour upon hour” talking to him about The Art of Booger Pickin’. Forrest is quoted as saying, “Mama used to talk a lot to me about good booger pickin’ etiquette.

Forrest goes on to tell one of the main lessons that his mama impressed upon him, which he has never forgotten. Forest recalls it like this — “Mama told me to never, never, never, be seen eating a booger, no matter how inclined you might to be to do so.” ” She informed me that my reputation could quickly be ruined. As a young boy, even up to the time I joined the army, I would always say to mama, “But why?”, mama always replied the same way, she would say, ” Forrest, for instance, just say the young girls get a hold of the fact that you are a booger eater. If you see a group of them together, say at lunch or something, and they’re staring at you for no apparent reason, you can rest assured that they are imagining you eating boogers. Forrest, you just aren’t looked upon the same way. It has ruined a lot of young upcoming would-be Stars; many, defeated by the pickin’ and eatin’ of boogers in broad daylight public.” This story is but one of the countless times, Forrest could be heard mumbling, ” I miss mama.” Frankie The Earthman.

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