“JERRY DOUGHNUTS”

Just this morning I was in the Martin’s grocery store in Front Royal Virginia doing some shopping. I decided to play a little game. Everyone that shops at this particular grocery store knows that they have the best Donuts around. So I made a spectacle of myself, as I went around to every department in the store, the deli, the meat department, the bakery, seafood, so on and so forth. As I walked into each department area, I made sure there was a couple of customers around, as I asked one of the attendants and I repeated over and over “Where are those dericious jerry Donuts?”

“I would say it took me about 4 to 5 minutes to walk through the store with my little chant about jerry Donuts. Finally, I saw what looked to be a manager and an assistant manager coming at me with concerned faces. One got on the right side of me, and one on the left, as they got ahold of my elbows and started leading me towards the exit door. I stopped abruptly and said “Excuse me, what is going on here?”, the store manager spoke up and said “Well you’ve upset the store and most of our workers with your questioning everyone about “Jerry” Donuts. Some people seem to think that you’re making a racial slur against German people, is that true?”, I said, “No way, Mr. Manager,” then a light bulb went off in my head, as I realized what the misunderstanding was all about. See, I didn’t have any front teeth, I was missing four upper front teeth, and I tended to slur my R’s and L’s. So I opened my mouth and pointed to my front teeth and said, “see my teeth are missing and my pronunciation is off I was merely trying to find the “JELLY” donuts,” as I wrote in the air with my fingers spelling out each letter, J E L L Y. Quickly both the manager and the assistant manager apologized to me, and took me over to the donuts and gave me 12 free white powdered “jelree” donuts. Yes, that’s correct jelree, as I thought, when I go to a different grocery store, I will use this new pronunciation, as I inquire about jelree doughnuts, while I stand appearing incoherent and dumbfounded in the produce department, close to the “celery.” (smirk.) Frankie The Earthman. “If you can’t dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull****.”