HALLUCINATIONS, DOCTORS AND HOSPITALS

Where to begin? Yes, at the beginning — *The chronology of my visits to the Hospital may be off a little bit, as to what and when certain things happened; because during this time I was hallucinating. I was going back-and-forth between two worlds that were extraordinarily real to me … more later… Prozac-related, turns out I was allergic to it.

On or about December 18th, 2021, most things in my life were going along fairly well ( for a 67-year-old male, and considering how screwed up the world is.), then out of the blue, I came home with a horrible case of the flu; in fact, the worst case I had ever experienced …

I became dehydrated within two to three days, although trying to keep something down on my raging stomach and bowels ( I soon found out that I had to have a procedure for 5 ulcers in my stomach which the doctors repaired. This goes without mentioning the extreme fatigue that was upon me. Fast-forwarding a little bit as I was trying to deal with the situation; I had three falls within a couple of days, all were inside our Virginia Appalachian Trail Mountain Home, which has hardwood floors throughout. If my wife and thirteen-year-old son had not been home to help me, I would have been trapped on the floor for God knows how long during each of the *three falls.

With what I’ve revealed so far as a backdrop; an evening came when my wife, son, and I realized I needed to go to the emergency room. Upon arriving and after the initial physical by doctors and nurses, blood was drawn and it showed that I had an infection in my bloodstream, that had gone to my heart called Endocarditis. The infection found a home in my heart valve.

Upon this revelation and talks with many cardiologists, eventually came the truth through a dental visit, showing an infected ‘half’ tooth in my mouth was the likely cause.

*After injuring my right elbow (extremely swollen) in one fall, my knee in another, then my neck, straining my right hip, my family and I realized it was time to go back to the hospital. ( This was a troubling trip to the hospital, as I had such bad communication issues, (due to hallucinations and bad attitudes of nurses and doctors mainly. ) with the five cardiologists, that I left the hospital, infuriated with the five not agreeing on what plan of action to take; having begun treatment for the blood infection, I returned the next day, ( after consulting our family physician ) a couple of weeks before these falls, I had a dream so vivid about being attacked by *men/ bull-like creatures in a large room: they were charging at me like bulls from each corner of the room, one then the other. I realized my main problem ( Other than my normal heightened imagination) was the Prozac prescribed for my OCD and anxiety.

In reaction to this dreadful attacking men/ bull nightmare, I had flung myself out of my bed ( trying to avoid their virtual assault) hit my head on the nightstand, cut my finger on a table, and damaged my knee further. More about hallucinations later. I remember this nightmare being the beginning of some serious hallucinations.

Then, the turning point came one evening. It was another evening with my wonderful family, as I took my shot of Tresiba and tried to relax on the bed. This was my last conscious moment for almost two days. I typically did not take my blood sugar reading before administering the Tresiba, because for almost two years, I knew almost exactly what ballpark my blood sugar was in at that time of the day, based on what I had eaten and other factors. What I didn’t know, having not checked my blood sugar prior to my shot, was that it was untypically low, and I was headed for trouble.

This event happened on a Friday night and the ambulance had to be called to come and pick me up as I was delirious and hallucinating, totally out of it. I woke up in a Critical Care section of the hospital and I was on a ventilator. It was a terrifying experience as I was strapped with both my hands and legs bound, not to mention that I felt like our ‘kitchen faucet’ had been jammed down my throat and I and I could barely breathe, it was terrifying. The doctor that was attending to me walked by and saw that my eyes had opened and happily said, “You’re back.” I’m staring from my ‘bound’ position with no recollection of what had happened in the last two days. He then removed the ‘hardware’ from my mouth and pulled the ventilator out of me. It felt like a gallon of water along with lung debris poured out of me, it is an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy, maybe on Vladimir Putin … (smirk).

I later learned on the evening of my blackout; that when I arrived in the emergency room, the doctor that was attending to me asked permission from my wife to put me on a ventilator, and told her that if he didn’t, I would die. Permission was granted by my wife. I remained on the super antibiotic for nine weeks. I returned home after spending a total of twenty-eight days in the hospital. I think they gave me every test available to the medical world. The day that I left the hospital, I was a shell of a man operating at about 30% of my old self. I have never been so exhausted in all my life … I remember praying to God, and saying “God if this is as good as it gets, I don’t want to live any longer, I wish you would take me home.”

As of March seventh, I have gone off of the intravenous super antibiotic and I’m taking an oral form. I have three tests to take during the week of March seventh. On the 18th I meet with my potential surgeon Cardiologist. Whether or not surgery will occur depends on the outcome of an ECHO that I will take on March ninth. So on March 18th and after reviewing the tests, it will be determined to what extent the antibiotic worked and if I need surgery or not which could include open heart.

Now, I will briefly describe some of the nightmares and details.

During the course of this health crisis, my hallucinations included the following: I actually believed for several days that my closest neighbor and friend had been shot and was dead. My wife and son told me after after 3 or 4 days of listening to me go go on about him, that he was not dead and that I was having an hallucination. I was both baffled and relieved.

We have a screened in Mountain Room at our house that is very nice, the way the house sits with this mountain room, you find yourself virtually in the woods or better said, as close as you can be. It is a nice feature of our environment. Anyway one of my most bizarre hallucinations happened underneath the mountain room, which has a lot of dirt around it and is an entrance to our basement. During this hallucination it was as if the mountain room itself was gone, and the lower ground area had morphed into the woods of the Appalachian trail. During the dream I saw many strange people, Some of them came to join me underneath the mountai A white stripe upper nosen room. They kind of looked like walking dead people but they were not attacking me. During the dream I spoke with them and they spoke with me; Sometimes they would engage with me and sometimes they wouldn’t, they would just disappear, especially if I tried to touch them. My mind thought that they were disappearing ( dying) if I touched them and meant that they had died. During this realization issue of how crazy things were I decided that it was time to die. I had my dog with me also … ( Princess Aja, a wonderful Staffordshire, black with masterfully placed white markings on her paws, and a white stripe up the middle of her muzzle.

As I had a few of these imaginary people sitting around I noticed that if I leaned over just a little bit and touched and touch them Both my hand and then the one I touched disappeared. As I wanted to die, I logically saw that if I positioned me and the dog over into this ‘zone’ we would die and disappear also, but it did not work. At first, I was disappointed and then elated that I and Aja weren’t going to die, and soon after that, the hallucination began to fade, and I returned to my real world. CRAZY RIGHT?

So there we have most of it, as there is much more involved over a near 30 day period than I could take the time to write about here. Frankie The Earthman.Visit my site on WordPress, my author’s name is flyraventhepoet or go to littleraventhepoet.blog

Fun, fun, fun, and I am still facing a potential surgery.

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