This is a short story about one Doctor Vilhelm Von Smerry Butte.
In a recent request ( followed up by Vilhelm from a rural resident inquiry as to the availability of Dr. Vilhelm Von Velly Smerry Butte – Proctologist ; ) to come to a local farm of many acres and diagnose a farm hand who smelled very peculiar.
Upon arrival at the farm and being directed to a barn on the side of a large farm house, Dr. Velly Smerry came upon the farmhand in the loft. The good Dr. Immediately asked for a clothespin to put on his nose as the smell emitting from the farm hand was overwhelming and foul. He then climbed the rickety wooden ladder up to the loft, the owners followed. From this point on, it was very hard for the farm owners to understand the good doctor as he now sounded like a quacking duck. Nevertheless, the farm owners listened intently.
The Dr. , upon examining the short young black haired, dark skinned boy of about 17, paused and said, ” Hmmm, Oh me, I know what is the problem”, in his thick German ducklike sounding voice as he firmly pressed on the boys’ lower abdomen area, and the boy let loose with what was a 10 second loud fart. Both of the farm owners jumped from the loft, tumbling surprisingly safe to the barn floor. The good Dr. climbed down the ladder and joined the couple.
The two farm owners asked with hope on their faces and beaming from their eyes, ” Dr. Vilhelm, what is the cause of this boys condition? The Dr. stroked and twisted his beard and handlebar style mustache and said, ” He has ‘farticular velly smerry butte’, I’m sad to say, I know of no cure, only change his diet.” Do not let him have refried beans, Jalepeno Poppers, Cholula spicy sauce, avocados, red peppered cornbread, or any mexicali type food. In addition, keep him away from Corona and Modello beer and Tequila, and he should improve.” The doctor turned and headed for his horse and carriage and soon left. As he surried away, he yelled back, “I will return in one week. Please call my office about your fee.
Two weeks had passed, and the Dr. was not to be heard from. To the farmer’s surprise, the boy seemed to heal on his own as the farting had stopped. They never followed the doctor’s orders concerning the young man’s diet. The farmers began to inquire in town about this Vilhelm Von Velly Smerry Butte. One day, they were talking to a local shopkeeper who enlightened them with knowledge about Vilhelm. He informed them that Vilhelm was a recent mental patient released from a big city in the Northeast. He charades as a doctor, even listing in the local Yellow Pages. He went on to tell them that the doctor always gave the same diagnosis, “Farticular Velly Smerry Butte.” Then he said Vilhelm was a real quack. Frankie The Earthman. littleraventhepoet.blog