“THIS PARTICULAR TURN” IS A STRONGHOLD that has me by my balls in its one hand, and by my throat hardpressed against a wall with its other … holding me just off the ground … It’s hard to get a breath, I will quickly go unconscious and die …
My mental condition, best described as a ballerina pirouetting on one big toe ( a ball of the foot pirouette would indicate ” more stability” which just is not there) … standing at the precipice at five thousand feet … perfectly poised and balanced, yet the slightest leaning forward or wind would bring a conclusion and relief to one man whose spirit has been all but broken, by loved ones ongoing insensitive bitching … apathy and selfishness … I am all but broken ...What’s the use? some people cannot be reached … especially those close ... If there was not a God, I would likely end myself ...